My ex wants child support for a 14-year-old I haven’t seen since birth. Do I have to pay? Ask Gelman

Q I have a 14-year-old daughter and I haven’t been in her life since she was a baby.
She lives full time with her mom in Toronto and is in Grade 9. Her mom recently asked me to pay child support.
I don’t think I should have to since she is already 14 and I am not a part of her life. Can you please advise if I have to pay, and if so, for how long?
A The short answer is yes, you are legally obliged to pay child support to your daughter’s mother. 
Child support is the money that one parent pays to the other, to support children financially. Child support is the right of the child and doesn’t depend on if you are in your child’s life or not.
There are two categories of child support. The first is called table child support, which means paying for everyday expenses, such as food, clothing and making sure they have a roof over their heads.
Think of this first category as the financial fuel that keeps your child’s life running smoothly. How do you calculate the amount? In most cases, it’s quite simple. It is strictly based on the payor’s annual income. Once your income is established, it is a simple matter of looking up the amount payable in the child support guidelines table.
If your daughter spends more than 40 per cent of her time with you (which she does not), the child support you pay may be adjusted. To really simplify it, table child support covers all the basics to ensure your child’s daily needs are met without any stress.
The second category of child support is what is referred to as special or extraordinary expenses. While table child support covers all of our child’s daily needs, this category handles those extra, out-of-the-ordinary costs.
Some of these expenses are obvious, such as child care and post-secondary expenses. However, other expenses, such as special or extraordinary extracurriculars (such as elite hockey and gymnastics) are left for the parents to negotiate. 
Also included in this category are unexpected medical bills, and those guitar lessons your child has been dying to take. Once it is determined that the expense comes within the category of special or extraordinary expenses, each parent is typically required to contribute to these expenses in proportion to their income.
So for instance, if your daughter’s elite hockey cost $5,000 a year and your annual income is $100,000 and the mother’s annual income is $125,000, you would pay 44.4% of the cost ($ 2,220) and mom would pay 55.6% of the cost ($2,780). Note, this is a general overview and with each case there may be factors that alter the amounts.
Payment of table child support and/or special or extraordinary expenses are generally payable as a minimum until a child reaches 18 and thereafter, if the child pursues a post-secondary education, until the certificate or degree is obtained. In some cases, child support might also be payable if the child pursues a second degree (for example to become a doctor or a lawyer). 
And there you have it — from the everyday essentials covered by table child support to the surprises of extraordinary expenses, it’s all about making sure your child’s needs are met with care and fairness.
Do you have a divorce, separation, adoption or other family law question? Email us at [email protected] and it may be featured in an upcoming article.